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Posts Tagged ‘scientology’

Jehovah’s Witness Hell

Argument for:

hit song “Blood on the Dance Floor” violates JeWit interpretation of Acts 15:28-29

Argument against:

kicked out in 1987 for “suggestive dance, dress, and grooming”

Muslim Hell

Argument for:

inclusion of Mohammed caricature on Off the Wall album liner

Argument against:

professed Shahadah at Toto keyboardist Steve Porcaro‘s house in 1998

Jewish Hell

Argument for:

followed heretic “Kosher Sex” teachings of Shmuley Boteach

Argument against:

Judaism doesn’t really have a hell

Scientology Hell

Argument for:

failed marriage to Lisa Marie Presley

Argument against:

history of OT-VIII-caliber insanity

Catholic Hell

Argument for:

boy-touching

Argument against:

boy-touching
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The Catholic Church is warning its parishioners that Confession is not the same thing as psychiatry.

Now, there wouldn’t be confusion if there weren’t similarities. Both involve lots of Latin buzzwords. Both are very unpopular with Scientologists. Both require you to tell your secrets to some weirdo in a dark room. And both present the danger that the weirdo will take advantage of those secrets to touch you inappropriately.

Nonetheless, as the Vatican points out, there are important differences:

psychiatry confession
covered by insurance not covered by insurance
comfortable couch hard wooden booth
legally able to prescribe drugs legally able to prescribe Hail Marys
not a sacrament is a sacrament
belief in medication as best cure for juvenile hyperactivity belief in beating-by-nuns as best cure for juvenile hyperactivity
considered corrupt on account of financial ties with deep-pocketed pharmaceutical makers considered corrupt on account of financial ties with deep-pocketed indulgence-seekers
based on reverence of crazy Austrian based on reverence of crazy German
underlying conditions considered mythical by a handful of critics underlying conditions considered mythical by anyone with a brain

Keep them straight, kids!

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I had better get my book to market before the anti-blasphemy movement makes it to this country:

Ever since 2006, when Muslims worldwide rioted over newspaper cartoons picturing the prophet Muhammad, Western countries, too, have been prosecuting more individuals for criticizing religion. The “Free World,” it appears, may be losing faith in free speech.

We can probably thank Tom Cruise for this one:

British citizens can be arrested and prosecuted under the 2006 Racial and Religious Hatred Act, which makes it a crime to “abuse” religion. In 2008, a 15-year-old boy was arrested for holding up a sign reading “Scientology is not a religion, it is a dangerous cult” outside the organization’s London headquarters. Earlier this year, the British police issued a public warning that insulting Scientology would now be treated as a crime.

But more often it’s the Muslims:

Under an Austrian law criminalizing “degradation of religious doctrines,” the 51-year-old politician was sentenced in January to a fine of 24,000 euros ($31,000) and a three-month suspended prison term.

And also the Muslims:

In May 2008, Dutch prosecutors arrested cartoonist Gregorius Nekschot for insulting Christians and Muslims with a cartoon that caricatured a Christian fundamentalist and a Muslim fundamentalist as zombies who meet at an anti-gay rally and want to marry.

And occasionally it’s the Muslims:

And in India, authorities arrested the editor and publisher of the newspaper the Statesman for running an article by British journalist Johann Hari in which he wrote, “I don’t respect the idea that we should follow a ‘Prophet’ who at the age of 53 had sex with a 9-year-old girl, and ordered the murder of whole villages of Jews because they wouldn’t follow him.” In India, it is a crime to “outrage religious feelings.”

If there is an upside to all this, it’s that maybe I’ll get to meet Brigitte Bardot.

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