The Catholic Church is warning its parishioners that Confession is not the same thing as psychiatry.
Now, there wouldn’t be confusion if there weren’t similarities. Both involve lots of Latin buzzwords. Both are very unpopular with Scientologists. Both require you to tell your secrets to some weirdo in a dark room. And both present the danger that the weirdo will take advantage of those secrets to touch you inappropriately.
Nonetheless, as the Vatican points out, there are important differences:
| psychiatry | confession |
| covered by insurance | not covered by insurance |
| comfortable couch | hard wooden booth |
| legally able to prescribe drugs | legally able to prescribe Hail Marys |
| not a sacrament | is a sacrament |
| belief in medication as best cure for juvenile hyperactivity | belief in beating-by-nuns as best cure for juvenile hyperactivity |
| considered corrupt on account of financial ties with deep-pocketed pharmaceutical makers | considered corrupt on account of financial ties with deep-pocketed indulgence-seekers |
| based on reverence of crazy Austrian | based on reverence of crazy German |
| underlying conditions considered mythical by a handful of critics | underlying conditions considered mythical by anyone with a brain |
Keep them straight, kids!
Your religion is false 