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Posts Tagged ‘deepak chopra’

Apparently, PBS has decided to start getting rid of religious programs from its airwaves.

This doesn’t affect me a whole lot, as I am not much of a PBS fan. Ever since they took “3-2-1 Contact” off the air, I only ever watch PBS for the McLaughlin Group.

“Why don’t you like PBS?” you’re wondering. Mostly it’s because whenever they aren’t showing “PBS Exhumes Victor Borge For Your Viewing Pleasure” for the 500th time or stupid thirty-year-old Britcoms about people who live in a department store, they’re showing religious programming.

It seems like every time I turn on PBS they’ve got a Deepak Chopra infomercial for Unlocking the Third Jesus’s Seven Hidden Dimensions of Spiritual Success, or a Wayne Dyer infomercial for Spiritual Principles of Sacred Learning to Co-Create Your Conscious Contact With God Using the Wisdom of the Tao, or Gary Null‘s Health Empowerment: Using Your Life’s Energy As a Prescription to Rejuvenate Your Soul.

It probably doesn’t surprise you that I find such quackery insulting.

However, I still find myself a bit concerned about how they’ll fill the newly-empty 23-hours-a-day of programming! John McLaughlin may be a juggernaut, but I don’t know if Eleanor Clift, Pat Buchanan, Mort Kondracke, or Tony Blankley can go more than an hour a week!

Hopefully they’ve got some old episodes of “Electric Company” in the vaults:

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Thank you to everyone who entered our “Obfuscated Religious Nonsense” contest. In case you don’t remember, we challenged readers to produce garbage prose so meaningless that it would seem “deep” and “insightful” to the small-minded.

There were tons of great entries, including “Christ’s Reduction of the Cathectic Libido Into the Unconscious,” “The Illusory Conflict Between Abrahamism and Abrahamology,” and “Wudu: Mahometan Catharsis or Baphometan Idol?”

But after careful consideration, the winner is a young man named Deepak Chopra, whose “The Law Of Attraction and Sankalpa” was head-and-shoulders above the competition. He scored high on every one of our judging criteria.

* invention of plausibly-named nonsense terms:

Sankalpa is the subtlest level of intention at the cusp of choiceless awareness and thought.

* “potentiality” and “synchronicity” used in same sentence:

The fundamental mechanics of intention manifesting into reality is based on the principle that intent in the field of pure potentiality organizes its own fulfillment through the synchronicity of space, time, energy, information, and matter.

* misuse of science terminology:

It is sankalpa that holds together the web of sutras that uphold all life and interdependently and synchronistically co-arise as space-time events in the entire cosmos.

* appeal to the “infinite”:

When the individual sankalpa is aligned with cosmic sankalpa it orchestrates the infinite organizing power of the entire universe so that the individual intention becomes the cosmic intention and the cosmic intention becomes the individual intention.

* gratuitous capitalization:

An individual who is established in Being can harness the power of sankalpa to bring about the spontaneous fulfillment of any desire.

* appeal to obscure scriptures:

As the Upanishads state “You are your deepest desire.”

* utter unintelligibility:

It is like the seed structure of intelligence around which time, space, and matter consolidate into a manifested event.

Excerpts, however, cannot do this entry justice. You should really read the whole thing on Chopra’s website.

Congratulations, Deepak! I hope you’ll enter our next contest, “Prank a major medical journal!”

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More than twenty percent of the girls in my daily emails from Match.com identify themselves as “spiritual but not religious.” If you are not a member of this group, you are probably right now thinking to yourself, “aren’t spiritual and religious the same thing?” Indeed they are; however, some religious people are ashamed of being religious and have instead adopted a form of politically-correct self-denial. (These are the same people who insist that we call the short “vertically-challenged,” the stupid “learning-disabled,” the unfunny “differently-humored,” and prison schools for wicked kids “alternative education.”)

These are also the same people, apparently, who sit around like idiots while nuts from the Kabbalah Centre indoctrinate children in public schools:

“What does greater satisfaction bring?” she asks. Matthew replies: “Spiritual power!”

Zucker asks him where the power comes from? “Your inner light,” the boy answers.

And where is that light found? “In your heart,” he says.

It may seem harsh of me, I know, to dismiss such scientifically-valid concepts as “spiritual power” (which I’m pretty sure is “spiritual work divided by spiritual time”) and “inner light” (which is made up of “inner photons” that sometimes behave like “inner particles” and other times behave like “inner waves”) as religious. The LAUSD would certainly disagree:

” ‘Spirituality for Kids’ is not religious,” said Karen Timko, who is in charge of elementary counselors for the Los Angeles Unified School District and has included the group in a resource fair for counselors. “It’s tools for navigating your life.”

[…]

” ‘Inner light’ is a universal term,” spokeswoman Esther Weinberg wrote in an e-mailed response to questions. “If you look it up, you’ll see it is used by Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Oprah, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, many yoga practitioners, and it actually originated with the Quakers.”

You’re right, that totally doesn’t sound religious. And if Deepak Chopra used the term, well, then there’s probably nothing flakey or religious about it at all!

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