Posts Tagged ‘circumcision’

If you’re like me, you probably grew up reading the Berenstain Bears books. You probably learned valuable lessons from The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers, The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food, The Berenstain Bears and the Bully, and The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Vacation. Your early sexual fantasies were probably shaped by The Berenstain Bears and the Female Fullback, The Berenstain Bears in the Freaky Funhouse, The Berenstain Bears And the New Girl in Town, and The Berenstain Bears and the Giddy Grandma.

And yet you probably found yourself wishing that the Berenstain Bears could also teach you some faith-based lessons. Well, wait no more:

At least one book, “The Berenstain Bears Love Their Neighbors,” is a retelling of a biblical story, that of the Good Samaritan. Others use biblical themes or verses.

The full series is not complete yet, which means that we have lots to look forward to. As a long-time Berenstain Bears fan, I most eagerly anticipate the following:


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Technology-wise, I am always a little bit behind the times. While my peers have gPhones and hPhones and iPhones, I have a little Nokia clamshell whose principal features are

1. MIDI “Saved by the Bell” theme-song ringtone, and

2. Tetris.

Occasionally I get tempted to buy an iPhone, so that I can easily track my calories and tweet while I’m driving and surf the web from public restrooms.

But then I remember that Apple keeps a dictatorial grasp on their app store. They rejected Trent Reznor’s app. They pulled down the baby-shaking app (forcing would-be shakers to use real babies). And now they’ve rejected Me So Holy, an awesome-looking app that allows you to paste photos of people’s heads on the bodies of religious figures.

This doesn’t bode well for me. And it means I should probably stop throwing my development resources at the “Your Religion Is False” iPhone app, the “Who Would Jesus Bomb?” iPhone app, the “Mohammed and Aisha” iPhone app, and the sure-to-be-a-hit iMohel.

(Although I guess that saves me the trouble of trying to figure out a good touchscreen equivalent of sucking the blood off.)

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