Other god-believers, however, allow that their god might not be perfect, and might sometimes need (for example) refueling, new tires, radiator-debris removal, windshield-washing, tire-pressure adjustments, and brake pad replacements.
Whenever god puts a little too much wear and tear on the world, maybe with tornadoes or floods or hurricanes, the Spit Crew swoops right and tries to clean up the mess he made:
Now, I have no beef with wanting to help people after they’ve been ravaged by a natural disaster. I myself was struck by lightning shortly after I came up with the idea for my book, again when I set up this blog, and a third time when I came up with The Greatest Religious Joke of All Time. And so I have lots of sympathy for the victims of nature (or of god, depending on whether you believe in science or not).
Nonetheless, the message that “Jesus loves you, and that’s why he destroyed your trailer park” seems a little incongruous to me. The idea that “The tree that fell through your living room is all part of god’s plan” is not particularly reassuring. Which is why if the Spit Crew showed up after my natural disaster, I’d probably crawl out from under my collapsed wall, accept their gift of a trailer full of bag ice, and start making fun of them.
Pepsi apparently has the same idea. After lots of contributions, they somehow figured out that the word “god” in the organization’s name implied a religious aspect to the Spit Crew. (Perhaps they watched the part of the video that sums up their charitable activities as “All this with the message of the love of Jesus Christ.”)
Nonetheless the Spit Crew is pushing back:
“We make absolutely no excuses for being a faith based, a religious based organization – we don’t discriminate we talk about Jesus to those in need whether they’re believers or non believers,” Johnson said.
Of course, a real God Spit Crew would have turned down donations from the homosexual-agenda-supporting Pepsi anyway.